Phrases We Should Stop Using, Pt. I: Lemons?

I think sometimes about everyday phrases or sayings we have in English that we should really stop using.  Some of them simply aren't true, and others are potentially even damaging.  I want to start a series of posts on phrases and sayings that should be expunged from our vernacular.  Part One: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"

I was pondering this phrase while playing a board game recently.  I began to realize, rather early in the game, that I simply was not going to win the game.  My initial strategy was moderately risky, and I had an early objective that I failed to meet.  Dice rolls didn't go my way, and it was quickly clear that I had no real path to victory.  It suddenly occurred to me that this situation is not unusual in real life.  Sometimes in life, you're simply dealt a losing hand, the odds don't go in your favor, and your luck runs out.  Moreover, as much as we hate to admit it, it sometimes goes beyond individual situations.  Sometimes people are dealt a losing hand and their lives will never recover.  They simply will not be "winners" as most people would define it.

In America we like to pride ourselves on our "self-made" men and women and our rugged individualism.  We like to say "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" and "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade."  Please hear me that I am all for the power of positive thinking and the importance of a good attitude.  I'm a strong believer that a great deal of life is influenced by your attitude.  However, the best of attitudes would not have won that board game for me.  Nor would it have undone the horrible events at Sandy Hook Elementary or any of dozens of other mass murders.  Nor does it allow someone born into generational poverty to become a wealthy business owner.

I heard someone remark recently that it's hard to pull yourself up by your bootstraps when you can't afford shoes.  It's downright harmful to believe as a society that it's within each of our powers to turn any bad situation into good.  This idea is what causes people to blame the poor for their own poverty, condemn welfare programs or "affirmative action", and glorify the "successful" for their success.  Gladwell's book Outliers is an interesting read on what factors cause someone to be exceedingly successful (spoiler: it's largely not their own doing), but I believe that the same applies to the rest of us.  Our relative successes and failures are largely due to factors outside of our control.  It's wonderful to make lemonade when life hands you lemons, but we ought to think of those who cannot do the same.  Some people simply aren't going to win with the hand they're dealt.