Growing Up in Faith

This post will be a followup to my previous post on growing up in our society.  In it, I discuss the disappearance of adulthood, why growing up is still valuable, and a few thoughts on how one might go about growing up.  In this post, I'd like to consider the same principles as they apply to Christians and the Church.

How do we grow up in faith?  What's the road map for spiritual maturity in our Western churches today?  For the most part, there is a pretty consistent formula that is presented to us.  Come to church regularly, develop a personal devotion time at home, give more tithes and offerings, volunteer more at church, and be part of a small group.  These things are all excellent steps to growing up as a Christian.  But are they all that we have as a Church?

I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure it
never works like this.

The Bible has a few places where it talks about "growing up" in the faith.  Paul, in 1 Corinthians 3, talks about growing up from being infants to eating "solid food."  The author of Hebrews 5 may have borrowed this language, if he isn't Paul also, to talk about growing up from milk to solid food as a mature spiritual adult.  Other places that talk about spiritual development, such as Ephesians 4, tend refer to issues of good works.  Does growing up in faith and practicing these good works of the life of a disciple, then, refer to things like tithing and being active in serving the local church?

I don't believe so.  Just as our society may have traded a child/adult divide for a world in which adults act like children, is it possible that our Church has allowed spiritual maturity to be optional and even forgotten what it means to be a spiritual adult?

I was talking the other night with a youth worker who helped parents understand that their children having doubts about their faith wasn't a thing to fear.  Many of our spiritual forefathers struggled with great periods of doubt and pain and even anger at God.  Doubts may be one of the first, and most recurring, stages of spiritual maturing.  If we are afraid to enter even these stages, our growth will probably be stunted.

Sometimes churches may inadvertently limit the possibilities for spiritual growth by failing to offer sufficient challenges.  Most churches try to keep Sunday morning services approachable for new believers and guests of members.  Where, then, does the growth come?  Small groups are the obvious answer, but many churches struggle to find enough qualified small group leaders to lead groups, and many small groups focus on the common need for community as much if not more than the need for deep growth in spiritual maturity.  The new movement in small groups is to make them missionally-oriented, which is also valuable, but still not places for emphasizing the "solid food" of spirituality.

And what exactly is that "solid food" of spirituality?  I'm inclined to think that tithing and volunteering are more likely traits that Paul and the Bible authors would have considered infant prerequisites, not qualities of a mature disciple.  What other paths might be available for spiritual growth that aren't highlighted in our churches?

Spiritual maturity
probably requires great
amounts of facial hair.

My first instinct is to look to the past for examples of spiritually mature forefathers.  The giants of the faith that we think of, such as Ignatius, Hudson Taylor, St. Francis, William Carey, Luther, Calvin, Wesley, St. Patrick, Hildegard, and so forth are all quickly noted.  They were marked by radical devotion to the faith, prolific authors and musicians, fearless missionaries, and more.  They are excellent examples, and of course Hebrews 11 gives us a great introduction to the faithful even further back in history.  What types of paths do they show us?  Here's a few that jump out at me:

• Monasticism - When's the last time you heard that term in your church?  Have you ever heard your church encourage a young person to spend an extended period of time in isolation and devotion to rules to grow in spirituality?
• Liturgy of the hours, Celtic and Puritan prayers - Throughout history, people have taken "pray without ceasing" to mean to regularly interrupt yourself to pray.  The Celtics and Puritans have a great tradition of having prepared prayers for various occasions.  One could imagine having prayers printed above the coffee pot to pray every morning!
• Heart prayers - Some spiritual fathers have described meditating on simple prayers such as the "Jesus prayer" (Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner) to the point that they actually become as natural as breathing, and that each breath literally reminds them of the prayer.  Now that's praying without ceasing!
• Prophetic and charismatic - While many are afraid of charismatic gifts, I can't help but think that 1 Corinthians 12:31 is a key part of spiritual maturity.  Eagerly desire more spiritual gifts, even the scary charismatic ones!
• Friars and Clares - Founded by St. Francis, these orders emphasized poverty as necessary for discipleship.  We think that's extreme, but it sounds a lot like what Jesus taught...and yet voluntary poverty is never considered a virtue in our churches.  We don't even really challenge people on stewardship!
• Mysticism - Some Christians may fear cultish behavior when getting into mysticism and spiritual experiences, but they've been a part of Christianity for two thousand years.  Under proper guidance and spiritual authority, they could be incredible parts of Christian discipleship.
• Contemplation and Examen - Spending time in meditation can take all sorts of different forms, whether contemplating Scripture or, as in the case of Examen, contemplating oneself.  Self-awareness and charting one's own spiritual growth would fit in well with our society's love of to-do lists and strategic plans.

These are just a few - it's not meant to be an exhaustive list, and one is not more right than another.  They are all different paths, and people can go down separate paths and still walk with God on each of them.  My point is that they are all paths that we've largely forgotten in our modern Church, with its emphasis on "morning quiet times" as the primary objective in spiritual growth.  Many of them are challenging and audacious, but then again when has the easy route been the best one?  Those challenges that are hardest are often the ones that we get most excited about, and the ones for which we most rise to the occasion.

Some people lately have been kicking around the idea of the "Dones" as a subset of the "Nones" - as in those Christians who are quitting churches and not looking for new ones because they are "done" with church.  Nones as a whole are those who have no church affiliation or religious beliefs for whatever reasons.  This article is an example (although it blames "dones" on a lack of community).  I believe that part of the desire of those in my generation to quit church is because we aren't being challenged enough.  Even if the community is nice, it does eventually get tiring to keep hearing the same basic sermons over and over again, and keep getting solicited to volunteer for the same programs over and over again.  After a while it just gets boring.

If we're having the challenge of lots of Christians walking around whom our church fathers and apostles would consider to be spiritual babes, and we're having the challenge of Christians leaving churches and wandering on their own, perhaps it's time to revisit the idea of spiritual growth.  Perhaps churches could take a look through history at the ways that Christians have experienced spiritual maturity, and present some of them to their members.  I'd like to see church pastors and growth leaders becoming experts in leading spiritual growth.  Too many spend all their days planning church services and doing the logistics of small groups.  These jobs are of course critical and good, but where's the actual spiritual growth leaders?  If Christians aren't challenged, we will never grow, and we are likely to get bored and wander.

Time To Grow Up!

Growing up is hard to do!  I'm 29 years old and somehow it doesn't feel quite like I could be old enough to be a grown-up.  Am I really an adult?  Surely I am, but it must be something peculiar about our society that someone who has lived nearly three decades can not quite feel like an adult.

If you're up for a longer, more academic read, I'd recommend The Art of Manliness' recent blog post on "The Rise and Fall of the Secret Society of Adults".  For the majority of you who won't read it, here's a quick summary.  For much of human history, childhood didn't entirely exist - kids were simply miniature, deficient adults until they were fully capable of doing all the things adults can do.  However, at some point, children began to be seen as something to be nurtured and taught, and there became a separation between children and adults.  Adults dressed differently, talked differently, and understood things that children couldn't.  In very recent times, however, things have reversed to where once again there is little distinction between children and adults, but this time it's the other way around: adults now are just like kids but bigger and older.  The author has a point - adults now dress like kids, talk like kids, and rarely grasp at complex subjects.

It's hard to say whether people are right who say that adolescence is a 20th century invention, but the term certainly seems to be.  Once upon a time, however, a child who had hit puberty was basically an adult.  Teenage years are now spent in school and under the authority of parents.  Many youth now spend up to age 22 or 23 in school, with college, few living what could be seen as a marginally independent or self-sufficient life.  The rise of "boomerang" kids who continue to live dependent on their parents after college and the growing confusion of my generation as to exactly what we want to do with our lives means that it's not uncommon for people nearly 30 to be still unmarried, on a murky career path, financially insecure, and largely immature.  I'm certainly not blaming anyone or even saying that there's anything inherently wrong with this system.  After all, when life expectancy is 50 you have to grow up much faster.  When it's 80 you can take your time.  I merely want to point out that growing up is vastly delayed in our society from where it was even 100 years ago.

I do feel, however, that there is still inherent value in growing up, whenever it does happen.  I don't believe it makes sense to bring down all of society to an 8th grade level.  Who doesn't recognize a certain bit of beauty in the powerful orations of history from men who spoke at a highly educated level?  Isn't there still some reverence for those who can read and learn from works of literature more advanced than Hunger Games?  I ought to take the moment to tangentially say that I don't mean to venerate adulthood at the expense of having a youthful heart.  It was just last week that my coworkers and I took a break to invent games involving a miniature soccer ball and an empty trash can in our office.  You can grow up without giving up fun and frivolity.

Why grow up, however?  What's the value to society in having adults who are grown up?  In other words, why shouldn't all of society dumb down to the lowest common denominator?  Firstly, I believe the qualities of adulthood are highly valuable to society.  A developed sense of personal responsibility, greater self-control, a desire and capacity to contribute meaningfully to the world, and expanded maturity for leadership and wisdom are just a few of these qualities.  Secondly, as the aforementioned wisely note in another post (most of the way down), you can't have an entire society dumbed down - somebody still has to get things done.  The world of childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood is only possible because of the world of adulthood.  Thirdly, because although we have all sometimes remembered our youth fondly and longed for days when we could relax without a care in the world, being an adult is immensely satisfying.  Making a positive contribution to the world, taking care of business, learning about and mastering complex subjects, and serving those around us are benefits of adulthood that we miss if we remain in the comparatively "easy" world of childhood.

I'm interested in what kind of things are part of this growing up process.  There aren't a lot of resources available for people to learn how to grow up.  You kind of have to go searching for it.  For example, I decided a couple of years ago that it was worthwhile for its own sake to dress like an adult (getting married and actually having the money to buy real clothes was elemental to this point, as well).  I "dress up" for work, parties, and events without anyone expecting me to, and you'll probably have a hard time seeing me in public without a collared shirt of some sort.  Why?  I am an adult, and my clothing both has an impact on me and on the people who come into contact with me.  When I'm dressed like an adult, I behave like an adult, and people perceive me as an adult.  Dressing like an adult doesn't make me an adult any more than sitting in a garage makes me a car, but these sorts of details are like individual puzzle pieces to a great collage.

What other things are helpful to the growing up process?  Trying to spend more time in the company of people older than I am is probably a key part of it.  Trying to learn how to have adult conversations is necessary.  Reading literature and following current events are two other things that I'm trying to do.  These things, I believe, help to reclaim a bit of the "secret society" of adulthood.  I'm also conscious of how I spend my free time.  While many in my generation are playing video games, I am learning things, working on my house, volunteering, and spending time socially.  I'm ready to grow up and start to work on a new definition of what it means to be an adult in our new Western society!

Outsourcing Christian Responsibilities

Blunt post coming...sometimes I feel like writing a quality piece, and sometimes I just feel like saying something.  This is the latter.

Is it possible to outsource the responsibilities of a Christian?  I'm not sure, but I think we Americans are sure trying.  Let's see if I can situate the scene: we've got a culture that encourages taking the easiest route to things, a church culture that encourages a wide gulf between "professional" Christians and other Christians, and a church culture that rarely teaches the harder parts of discipleship, preferring to allow anyone in.  Every once in a while you find exceptions (the Art of Manliness blog comes to mind for the first, Watermark Church comes to mind for the third where I understand they revoke your membership if you are not involved beyond Sunday morning).  I think most people would agree with these three qualities of our society, so if we connect them, we get...outsourced responsibilities.

Okay this picture isn't really related, I just think
it's funny.  And maybe hitting a bit too close to
home for "incarnational" types.

I believe that it is possible, today in our broader Christian church, to hire missionaries and pastors to do the jobs that the Bible calls all Christians to do.  There are pastors out there making a full-time job out of being part of their neighborhood associations, school PTAs, volunteering to lead community activities, and write blogs.  We call it "incarnational" ministry and extol the value of being part of the community and cultivating what is already there, which is excellent and beautiful.  Except...this isn't a special calling for missionaries and pastors.  These things are the general responsibilities of all Christians.  This isn't a criticism of missionaries who are raising support and making a full-time job out of this.  I hope that their extra free time enables them to take these activities to the next level and develop something strong and sustainable.

No, this is more an observation that we all need to be involved in our communities.  We may not have all the free time to do ten fun things in our community every week, but we can all do one or two.  Ten people involved in two things each every week is better than two people involved in ten each.  If we cannot get involved, maybe we have gotten ourselves too busy for our own (and our community's) good.  Since moving into a new neighborhood this fall I am trying to figure out a variety of ways to get involved and get to know people.  I'm no expert but I know that this is a non-negotiable, and it's not part of my job...it's part of my responsibility as a Christian.  Thank you to the pastors who are leading the way in this...now let's go find one and join them in what they're doing!