Arrogance

I was particularly struck one morning, back before Christmas, by a paragraph I was reading at the end of James chapter 4. It says that we shouldn't go around talking about our plans, but rather that we should talk about things "if the Lord wills them." It goes on to say that we need to stop boasting in our arrogance. I realized in that moment that setting ourselves up as independent is pure arrogance. We are boasting, though not with our words...we are boasting with our actions. I am very guilty of this. I make lots of plans, and rely on my own wisdom and skill to carry me through. Things seem immediately apparent to me, and I move forward. Rarely do I stop to say "I will do that if it is the Lord's will."

Lord, please help me to stop boasting! I am not independent, but rather completely dependent on You...I can do nothing apart from You, and had better not even try!

How big is the problem?

A friend's family has a saying that I fully intend to adopt into my family when I have one. They say "Any problem that can be solved with money is not a big problem." I love it. It helps to keep things in perspective for me. Maybe I'm annoyed because I pull a shirt out of the closet and it's ruined with a stain that I didn't notice when I put it away. Or maybe my car breaks down and needs an expensive repair. These problems are not big problems, according to my friend's proverb.

A few days ago a good friend called to tell me that a 16-year old in his youth group had been hit and killed by an 18-wheeler just two days before Christmas. The youth group had just been all together at a retreat. The boy was a believer and had recently shared his testimony, but the pain that his family is now feeling at Christmas is unimaginable to me.

When I think this Christmas about the things that are most important to me, I immediately think of people: friends, family, loved ones. I think of causes: opportunities to help people, opportunities to change the world one person at a time, injustices and pain around the world. I think of virtues and character: faith, hope, love, joy, kindness. I don't think about possessions, or money, or work. Somehow, in the right perspective, those things just seem to fade. This Christmas, I need to be reminded what are big problems and what problems can simply be solved with money. From that perspective, I can see what is really important.

Christmas stays if we don't forget its meaning....

Driving home early this afternoon I was listening to an old Christmas classic. Or, at least, it's a Christmas classic to me. "Old City Bar" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra is one of my favorite Christmas songs, and if you know me this time of year I say that about a lot of songs. But this one is different to me...while I never tire of singing the spirituals loudly and proudly, and can't stop smiling when I sing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire, some of the songs that most tell me it's Christmastime are like this one. "Old City Bar" tells a story of a child who is trapped outside in the snow and can't get home. Across the street, a bartender cleans his register to get her a taxi and a plane ticket. The song culminates in a resounding chorus:

If you want to arrange it
This world you can change it
If we could somehow make this
Christmas thing last
By helping a neighbor
Or even a stranger
And to know who needs help
You need only just ask

As I was driving home, I was contemplating how meaningful this all was to me, as well as the larger context of the album-length stories that Trans-Siberian Orchestra tells, when I dawned on me that I was singing empty lyrics: I hadn't helped any neighbors this season, and especially not any strangers! In fact, sometimes I find my focus to be so strongly on my ministries, my relationships, and myself, that I realize that I don't even know the types of people that "Old City Bar" talks about.

Almost as if on cue, while sitting at a stop light, a young man ran through the cold rain across the street, clutching a bright red gasoline can. He was seeking refuge from the elements under the cover of the gas station at the opposite corner. When the light jumped to green, I quickly cut off the driver next to me and pulled slowly into the gas station. Spying him going inside the store, I rolled down my window to ask him if he needed a ride. Sure enough, his car had run out of gas a half-mile away. He was trying to use his day off and the paycheck he had gotten yesterday to buy Christmas presents. Sam and I had a nice chat on the way back to his run-down truck and he thanked me for the blessing that he had received. I left knowing that God had blessed me as much as He had blessed Sam.

If our kindness
This day is just pretending
If we pretend long enough
Never giving up
It just might be who we are

Balancing Act

Have you ever noticed that about some topics, the same person can tell you completely contradictory things and sincerely mean both of them? I've noticed that kind of tension sometimes and it tells me that there is no simple answer to that particular question - the sweet spot is somewhere in the middle, and in fact might move around depending on the situation.

One of those topics is the idea of how much you should work. There is one side that says that the most important thing is your life: your family, your friends, having time to rest. That side tells us that you've gotta draw very clear boundaries around your work time so that it doesn't encroach on your personal time. You should work 40-45 hours a week, and when you're at work you don't think about home and when you're at home you don't think about work.

There is another side to the story that says that you have to be productive and achieving. You are called to a certain job and you've got to do your very best. You can't be a leader in 40 hours a week, you can't meet your obligations in 40 hours a week, and you can't change the world in 40 hours a week. This side says you need to sleep less and do more. You should do all you can, and when you run out of steam, do just a little bit more to increase your capacity for next time.

What is the proper balance? Neither side is entirely correct, but neither side is entirely wrong either. In fact, when you read them independently, they both seem completely reasonable and inspiring. How do we achieve both of them at once? What is the balance?

Thankful

Every once in a while it's healthy to take a step back and look at the big picture story that God has been writing in your life. I try to do it frequently, because it reminds me of just how big God is and how small of a part I really had in all of it. So many events and people weaving in and out of the story in ways that could never be pre-planned, the results of which are still playing out now. Sunday night, in the midst of some late-night worship in my room at home by myself, I couldn't help but shouting out "Thank You!" because it was hitting me just how many miracles God has worked in my life in the three years since graduating from college.

Tonight I sat down to write out as much as I could of the miracles God has worked, and I began to realize just how interconnected everything is. By reading through this, I could never deny God's existence or His concern for the details of my life. Here's just a small taste:

After providing a job during a recession that I didn't even apply for, God reconnected me with an old mentor through a small group he was starting in June 2008. Through reconnecting with him, I found out that he was hiring for a job that I took in November of that year. Through that small group and that job, I met and grew closer to a girl who would become my girlfriend a year and a half later. Also at that job, I got reconnected with another old friend, and with her we started a nonprofit in September 2009. Through that nonprofit, I went back to Kenya in December 2009, where I met a counselor who helped me to work through some depression and changed my perspective on a lot of things, including dating. Partly because of that, I asked out the girl whom I had met through the small group. Now, because of all that I have learned through my job, I am preparing to help take our new nonprofit to the next level.

What story is God writing in your life? And what elements of tomorrow's story are being written in your life today? Embrace every situation, because it could be part of God's preparation for something you can't see yet!

Do We Have A Money Problem?

Luke 16:19-31

Do we have a money problem? Having money certainly isn't a problem, but misusing it certainly is. The rich man in this parable definitely had a problem - it wasn't that he had a bunch of money, or that he had a huge mansion. His problem was that he built a gate to keep people like Lazarus out, and every day when he passed by Lazarus at the gate he didn't do anything. He would do well to read James 2:14-17.

In our society, do we have a money problem? We use tomorrow's money to pay yesterday's bills. We spend money we don't have to buy things we don't need to please people we don't even like. Now that's sick. There are rich people in the world, that's for sure, and some of them use their money well. Then there are people who think they are rich and live a rich lifestyle, even though they are not. The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil (1 Timothy 6), and people can love money even if they don't have it. Some of the poorest people in the world love money as much as the richest do. I think we have a money problem.

Let's get back to the truth of Matthew 19. Jesus told the rich man to sell everything and give it to the poor. I don't think the point here is that we all need to sell our stuff and give everything to the poor. Jesus also said that we will always have the poor with us and chastised His disciples for wanting to sell the lady's gift of perfume to give the money to the poor (Mark 14). I think that in Matthew 19, Jesus was reminding the rich man that everything we have belongs to God, and that God is not satisfied with only part of what we have (Acts 5). God demands ALL of it - not that we must sell it all, but that we must offer it all to Him for Him to use as He would like. That's why He says that it's so hard for a rich man to enter the Kingdom - it's hard to offer everything to God when you have a lot of stuff! When's the last time you told God that He could use your cell phone however He likes?

Let's think in terms of God's economy, not the human economy.

People are People

Our LINC NT staff watched the movie The Visitor at our staff retreat. It's about a professor who, after getting caught up in his intellectual life and losing all passion, suddenly finds himself face-to-face with two undocumented aliens living in his apartment in New York City. Through a series of remarkable events (it truly is an incredible movie, I would consider it a must-see), he finds himself relating to the two as people, opening up first his home and finally his entire life to them. As their lives intersect and become more and more intertwined, he becomes radically changed and rediscovers true living. And don't worry, I haven't spoiled the movie for you - there's still plenty to see!

One of the beautiful things about the movie is the amount of hospitality that Walter, the American character, shows. Americans are notorious for being generous but not hospitable. More relational cultures are often hospitable but not generous. Americans are usually fine with throwing money at an issue but they don't want it to affect them or to get too intimately involved. We will surely donate money or clothes to a homeless shelter, but we would never fathom having a homeless person enter our lives. Being generous is all well and good (and as a person who depends on donations for my livelihood, I'm quite grateful!), but not if the humanity is lost. People are people, and we must approach them as such. We must allow their stories to intersect ours so that we are mutually impacted.

Is there anyone in your life right now to whom you are being called to be hospitable? How can you allow the lives of people around you to intersect yours?

Alone With Your Thoughts

How often are you totally alone with your thoughts? For me, it's rare. I work two jobs, am studying for a Master's online, and so my life is pretty nonstop. When you think about it, there's really very few moments that you're alone with your thoughts. Most of us characterize our "down time" by watching movies, playing mindless games, reading books, or other sensory inputs. Are there many times that you are not doing anything, and not receiving sensory inputs? We often can't even drive to work without having music on.

Could it be that we are actually a bit afraid of being alone with ourselves? A bit fearful of what thoughts might bubble to the surface if we gave them the opportunity? When you shut down some of the noise that surrounds us seemingly all the time, you might just be surprised by yourself. You might have to deal with some of the less-pleasant thoughts that you normally repress. You might even have to actually confront your conscience on some of the wrongs you know you've committed. But on the other hand, you might also find yourself making decisions more easily. You might even hear from God.

When is the last time you were alone with your thoughts?

Kenya Reflection 1

The enormity of the task which we are attempting to accomplish is staggering to the point of being overwhelming. The base of the issue is my conviction that all things are interrelated. The root of the problem, however, is my unshakable dream: to see an entire country transformed by the Kingdom of God. How can this be done? Only by the power of the Holy Spirit, clearly, because the task is immeasurably complex. There is so much in my mind that I am trying to balance. The interconnectedness of ministering to the whole person as I understand it (intellectual, emotional, physical, spiritual, and social) is a concept that is beyond me. Then I am convinced that the most sustainable work occurs at all levels simultaneously: individual, communal, governmental, and international. Each of these four levels would require a lifetime just to read the published material on their intricacies. Finally, all the different philosophies that I have incorporated into my being must find their place. I believe in the process of disciple-making, particularly life-on-life. I shudder at the thought of bad development practices that do more harm than good, and I have to focus on human dignity. I am also aware of the challenges inherent in any cross-cultural engagement. All of this seems to appear insurmountable.

Our dreams for Ndoto are huge. Our passions are intense and we want to see so much happen. Some of what we are attempting to do is an unpaved road, if even anyone has travelled it before. I don’t know of anybody who is trying to do nonprofit development work side-by-side with for-profit entrepreneurship. Often, it just seems like we are making it all up as we go.

Our generation is bold. We have a global perspective and live in unprecedented times. We have overcome much of the modernist separations so that we can even attempt this type of work, and we are beginning to recover the charismatic gifts of the Spirit that grant us extra power in our work. We will change the world, with God’s help. We must, for the world needs restoration.

Seminary, Part Six

Few leaders finish well. Most quit, leave early, or fail. Life can be considered like a chess game: there is an opening game, a middle game, and an end game. Decisions made in the opening have a profound effect on the middle game, and it's in the middle game that your choices make the biggest difference. Most chess games are won or lost in the middle game. However, poor choices in the end can ruin the best of games.

What does it take to finish well? Most of us try to do whatever it takes but we usually have the criteria wrong. We are trying to finish in the wrong way or in the wrong things. We must know God deeply, know ourselves deeply, and be known deeply in community. We need humility and discipline, and we need a learning posture. My host in Colorado Springs was a great example of finishing well. After 88 years of living, he amazed me several times with his wisdom. He had lived a full life, including more than 60 years of marriage with never raising voices at each other. When I stayed at his house he was filling his schedule with social activities, family activities, and hospital visitation. Even as a lifelong introvert whose wife had led him in social interaction, he forced himself to visit people in the hospital and bring them hope and joy because he felt called. He believed that we must never stop giving - when you stop giving, you lose purpose for living. Many years back he had trained himself in evangelism so that even if he ended up in a nursing home he'd be able to give the Gospel to others at the home.

There are several barriers that we must overcome if we are to finish well. A major one is finances - their abuse or misuse. Another is power issues or inordinate pride. Many leaders fall victim to sexual immorality, and others fall victim to family-critical issues. Others never overcome emotional wounding. Still others plateau and become content with the status quo. To avoid plateauing we must ensure that we always seek mentors.

What leaders have you seen who finished well? What were their secrets? Or do you know more leaders who didn't finish well? What did they fall victim to?

Seminary, Part Five

The way that I have read the Bible has always continually changed. I can think in terms of major shifts in my life: when the Navigators taught me the "hand" illustration (read, study, hear, meditate, memorize), when Perspectives taught me to read the Bible missionally....at Fuller last week they taught us to pray thoroughly, then read several times with the help of Bible dictionaries, and only after considerable study should we begin to refer to commentaries. We must ask many questions of the text. Our professor proposed that if we study books deeply, we may tend to develop "core" books that we keep returning back to. We will become experts in these books as we "live" in them for long periods of time.

Our professor suggested that many of the major characters in the Bible are cross-cultural ministers. For example, Abraham discovered God's heart for the nations and sought to bless them, such as by interceding for Sodom and entering into covenants with Abimelech. David developed relationships with the Philistines while fleeing from Saul that led to very long-term relationships. Jonah failed as a missionary but displayed God's heart for the nations in a way that would convict Israel. Jesus came to the marginalized of Israel and brought his disciples with him as he traveled widely, interacting with many Gentiles and attracting many Gentile followers.

We tend to divide the Bible up way too much these days. It is important to read the Bible much more holistically. Additionally, it's important to press through our own lenses to discover deeper meanings and truer understandings. We view the Bible through many lenses. For example, some of my lenses are white, male, American, wealthy, Lutheran, young, charismatic, missional, and many more that I probably don't even realize. As we recognize our lenses, we can try to look past them. There are five major aspects to our understanding of Scripture: our context, personal experiences, theological tradition, history, and our definitions of terms. Additionally, it's important to study the historical and cultural context of the original writers. Our professor recommended books such as those by Kenneth Bailey and Joichim Jeremias.

What tactics do you have for overcoming your own lenses? What impact do they have on your understanding of the Bible?

Seminary, Part Four

In Colorado Springs, we learned skills for being lifelong learners. One of our professors taught us about critical thinking. As we encounter new ideas, it's crucial to think about them, because in today's world we are constantly bombarded by thoughts and ideas, and if you don't think critically about them you'll be swayed by many things and fall victim to each latest passing fad. We were taught about asking about the author's point of view, purpose, assumptions, and implications. The goal is to be intellectually humble yet courageous, confident in reason and fair-minded. As leaders, we should embody intellectual integrity, perseverance, empathy, and autonomy.

They also taught us about "reading on the run" (from a book of the same title). Counter to what we've always assumed, you don't need to read every word of every book. You only need to glean from each book what needs to be learned. Sir Francis Bacon said, "Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested." You can often learn all you need to learn from a book by reading the first sentence of each paragraph, or perhaps even less. This requires great discernment and quick critical thinking skills.

Do you consider yourself a critical thinker and a good reader?

Seminary, Part Three

I don't even know that I can put down everything that I've learned in two weeks here...it's a bit overwhelming. But I will try to summarize 3 major themes over the next 3 posts.

This program places a huge emphasis on character development. The most important thing is not what you do, it's who you are. Being is more important than doing. We talked about leading out of being: who you are determines how you lead, and how you lead determines who you are. Which is more important: leadership capacity, or leadership character?

There was a major emphasis on doing ministry as a family man. We have already lost several members of our cohort to family stresses, and several current members shared testimonies about losing and almost losing marriages due to work and ministry. Leaders need to find the balance between accomplishing the task that God has called them to and making their family a priority. One of the pastors who has a great testimony of a marriage nearly failing yet being saved shared three bits of wisdom: never take your marriage and your family for granted (schedule date nights and family nights), never underestimate your ability to justify anything, and try to think long-term (even in the moment).

Finally, one of our professors proposed that leaders must write. We know things that others need to know, and our life experiences can advance the collective wisdom of our generation. Many of us are on the cutting edge of ministry and leadership and if we do not write, our impact will be short-lived. He also suggested that our writing should be for our own benefit as well: if you write down your experiences and understandings, you will steadily build a treasure trove of accumulated wisdom. That is part of the reason for trying to write more in this blog.

Seminary, Part Two

I arrived in Colorado Springs two weeks ago and met a good friend's parents at the airport. Out of their amazing generosity, they were lending me one of their cars for two weeks, choosing to go with one car so that their daughter's friend could have one. They had also gotten me in touch with a man in the Springs who was alone with his dog in a really nice house on a hill overlooking the city. He had a basement with a bedroom, bathroom, and living space that I could stay in for free. He turned out to be an 88-year old retired Air Force Lt. Col who had flown in WW2 and taught aerospace engineering at the Academy. Since retiring, he had continued to work in the Lutheran school system and now continued his life philosophy of giving. He now invests heavily in hospital visitation.

Not meeting the basic requirements for the program, I am privileged to get to study with people who have decades of experience in global leadership. The oldest member of the class is 58 and he's spent nearly 30 years working in Afghanistan. Another class member is 53 and he's just started a second career as the construction manager for all of Africa for Wycliffe. We've also got a missionary in a 100% Muslim country, a church planter in the Amazon river basin, and a student ministry director in Romania. On the US side, we've got pastors from rural churches, inner-city churches, large churches, small churches, and even an online church and a Silicon Valley church.

While here, I got the opportunity to visit New Life Church, a megachurch that has been through losing a pastor to a homosexual affair and a Sunday morning shooting. I got to check out Garden of the Gods and drive up to 14,115 feet at the summit of Pike's Peak. Sitting on a rock on the edge of the summit, I met with God. I got to meet my girlfriend's cousin in Denver, and hang out with an old friend who goes to Denver Seminary. And, I did all this in the context of beautiful mountains and amazing Christian leaders that I built lasting friendships with.

Have you had times in your life when everything seemed to come together in remarkable ways to become a huge milestone blessing in your life?

Seminary, Part One

I've been in Colorado Springs for the last two weeks studying in person at Fuller Theological Seminary. I am here with my cohort of 22 leaders and we've just finished two weeks of intensive studying. I've been so blessed by the opportunity to be part of this group. I am the youngest one in the cohort, and the only unmarried guy.

The Master of Arts in Global Leadership program is an amazing online program through Fuller that enables me to study toward my Masters while remaining in my ministry context. Not only that, but it combines light theological training, practical ministry training, and leadership training with a heavy emphasis on character and lifelong development as a disciple of Christ. I will finish probably either in December 2013 or March 2014.

This trip has been absolutely incredible, and I'll be describing it over the next few posts. It struck me as I was in the Denver airport waiting to head down to the Springs that I was flying into a city where I knew nearly nobody to borrow a car from people I'd never met so that I could stay at a house of a guy I'd never met and go to school with people I'd only exchanged e-mails with online. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to step outside of my comfort zone and take a risk. In my next post I'll let you know how it turned out...but first, I'm sure each of you have similar experiences. How did they turn out?

Ethal

Thought this story was worth sharing...it's how my mom came to get her dog!

Hi my name is Elise and i work for Operation Kindness, I wanted to e-mail you and let you know that i am very happy that u adopted Ethel and that i rescued her.. She was hit by a car right in front of me, i didn't see it but i heard it and i could hear her crying from the street. So when i figured out were she was, I picked her up and moved her to the sidewalk, i wasn't sure what to do because she wasn't bleeding or anything, she was in shock, she couldn't get up, she was really stiff and wouldn't stop crying.so i wrapped her up in a towel and put her in the car with me.. And this is all happening around eleven p.m. so i knew we were closed at operation kindness so i couldn't take her there. I figured that she wasn't gonna make it because she wouldn't stop screaming and she was breathing so hard. I couldn't leave her there to just die, so i called animal control and told them What happened and they told me that it could take any were from one hour to twenty four hours before they could get there, and there was no way i was going to leave this poor little poodle to die alone.. so i thought that at least if she was not going to make it that i could get her some were so she can be put to sleep, and not suffer anymore. So i took her to Dallas Animal Services on Westmoreland, because they have a night drop box and you can leave the dog in there and someone will get her out on the other side of the door. so i filled the information on the card out, and then when i put her in there she stands up and looks at me and starts walking around. I'm feeling bad about even bringing her there but i shut the door, And i go home that night after all this, and i cant sleep i keep thinking about this poor little dog, and so the next morning i call up there and she if she made it threw the night and she did! I was so happy. So i told my boss the whole story and asked her if i could bring her to Operation Kindness, And she gave me the ok, And we do surgery on animals if they have broken limbs, or hips so i figured she would be a good dog to bring into the shelter for that reason. So i had to wait 72 hours before i could pick her up, because she was a stray so the owner had 72 hours to find her. I knew no one would be looking for this dog, from the matted fur, to the long nails, and dirty ears. So after 72 hours i got to go pick her up and when i saw her laying in the cage, she got up and came to the door like nothing was wrong with her. i asked them do they know her problems and the hadn't done x-rays so the were unsure. So we leave and i get her to OK and they do x-rays and its a broken pelvis. and she stayed there until you came and adopted her! And i want to thank you for giving her a good home! And i thank your both lucky to have one another. It makes me so happy when one of my personal rescues gets a forever loving home. thank you!

Psalm 103

Such meaningful words to me, from a folded up photocopy of two pages of a book I've never read:

"The heart's fierce effort is to protect itself from every slight, to shield its touchy honor from the bad opinion of friend and enemy, will never let the mind have rest. Continue this fight through the years and the burden will become intolerable. Yet the sons of earth are carrying this burden continually, challenging every word spoken against them, cringing under every criticism, smarting under each fancied slight, tossing sleepless if another is preferred before them.

Such a burden as this is not necessary to bear. Jesus calls us to His rest, and meekness is His method. The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort. He develops toward himself a kindly sense of humor and learns to say, 'Oh, so you have been overlooked? They have placed someone else before you? They have whispered that you are pretty small stuff after all? And now you feel hurt because the world is saying about you the very things you have been saying about yourself? Only yesterday you were telling God that you were nothing, a mere worm of the dust. Where is your consistency? Come on, humble yourself and cease to care what men think.'"

A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

Week 2

I have been so inspired by reading Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders. I’ve found myself reading and rereading sections, underlining, making notes, and even getting up from the book to put certain principles in action immediately. I have been primarily inspired by seeing the image of a devoted leader who will stop at nothing to accomplish his or her calling. The description of self-imposed discipline is encouraging me to take many personal steps, particularly as my life is extremely busy right now. The leader described by this book works very hard and is very productive with all of his time, which is an excellent goal. However, I have been feeling concerned by the message here – while describing my recent life to a friend, she quickly reminded me to take my day of rest, something I’ve been unable to do in weeks. I am reminded of leaders I have known and read about who sacrificed their personal lives, particularly their friends and families, in the pursuit of working nonstop. Finding balance in my life is extremely important, and I am still struggling to find that when between two jobs, school, and other obligations it seems like all but a few hours of each week are spoken for when the week begins. Hopefully the discipline described in this book will help me to find that balance without taking to extreme the principles of hard work described in this book.

Week 1

I am fascinated by the journey that God is bringing me on as I enter the MAGL program. When I graduated with a business degree in 2007, I didn’t have any clue what direction I wanted to go with my life. I tried to enter the nonprofit world doing world relief and development, but didn’t get any calls back, so after falling into a youth ministry job at my home church I started a Masters in International Development online at Tulane University. After two semesters I realized that another secular degree was not what God was calling me to, and that such broad-based work was very important but not for me. So I dropped out of that program and took some time off to focus on my new job in inner-city church planting and community development. I then began to enter a Masters of Social and Civic Entrepreneurship program at Bakke Graduate University, but before beginning classes the Lord convicted me that He hadn’t intended me to get another business degree. I immediately applied to Fuller and was accepted! My story since graduation has been 100% by the hand of God. I always tell people that I graduated with no job during a recession and God gave me two jobs that I didn’t apply for and helped me to start a 501(c)(3). Not only that, but despite having yet to even approach the concept of making $20,000 a year, the Lord has sustained me, even with schooling! I am truly blessed.

Things I've Been Learning

Seems to me like the past couple of months have been a pretty remarkable time of learning for me. While it's a lot of things that I pretty much already knew, getting them reinforced is great.

• Knowing yourself is the most important thing
• You can talk yourself into a new mood
• There's 3 parts of your psyche: parent, adult, and child. Not only does each part relate to different parts of different people, but you relate to yourself. The parent is either critical or nurturing, and the child is either adaptive or rebellious. In this mindset, how you relate to yourself has a lot to do with your psychological health, and how you relate to others has a lot to do with your relationships.
• If you're a people-pleaser, people don't end up liking you, they end up using you
• You've gotta be open to anything relationship-wise...those whom you discount might become your closest friends, and if you open your eyes there are lots of ladies around worth getting to know a lot better
• Take the things that you're good at in life and apply them to yourself...for example, if you're good at making a goal and building a plan to get there, do the same thing with your life
• You don't have to wait until you think you're going to marry someone to date them
• Values, passions, and interests all change. Consider people to date based on the things that don't easily change: character and personality.
  
• You don't have to marry someone who has all the same qualities as you, you only have to date someone who has the ability and potential to value, understand, be inspired by, and encourage them
• It's not about finding the right person to marry, it's about being the right person to marry
• In a relationship, you bring a lot to the table, the other person brings a lot to the relationship, and the combination creates a certain type of situation. The person you always have a beer and watch the game with won't likely become the person you have a great conversation with or the person you do ministry with. Therefore, in looking for someone to date, consider what kind of combination you want to have in your relationship.
  
• There is a lot to be considered about the relationship between how you see yourself and how you present yourself
• Focusing on other people is not only the most fulfilling thing you can do with your time, it also the most productive and valuable
  
• God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble, so humble beginnings are usually a good sign
  
• When you don't know what to do, do something
• There is no substitute for a good beer and good music
• Listening is far more important than speaking, and getting other people to talk about themselves and open up is far more important than talking about yourself
• Your place in life is where your strengths and your passions align with what the world needs
• Being intentional about building relationships with friends of friends and other acquaintances is fulfilling, exciting, and valuable

Application Essays

I am applying to the Master of Arts in Global Leadership program at Fuller Theological Seminary. Here are the essays that I will be submitting with my application. Anybody who has the time, I would sure appreciate feedback!

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A. Reflect on your past Christian experience, including the most significant spiritual event/influence in your life, the role of Christ in your religious experience, the effect your faith has on your worldview, your involvement in Christian service, your perceived gifts/calling for ministry, and your reason(s) for attending your church.

Many people speak of faith in abstract terms or as something you pull out for the hard times, but for me, faith is a constant reality of relying on God. I've chosen to live my life in such a way that there has been no other option for me. Although I grew up in a Christian household, my walk with Christ took a very real turn for me in July 1998 at a youth camp when I decided to offer God my entire life. Prior to that, I had put off the decision, feeling like Christians never got to have any fun. I soon realized that my life as a Christian would be as adventurous as I allowed it to be.

Early on, God made it clear to me that He had my life in His control, but that He wasn't going to give me very much advance notice of anything or make it easy to rely on money. Each of my three summers during college really tested my faith. The first summer, I decided to do a discipleship training program with the Navigators. Having heavily relied on family and friends for three past international mission trips, I knew that God was calling me to pay for it myself. A similar thing happened the next summer, when I was planning on interning with my church when the budget was cut. I made the decision to continue with the job unpaid. The third summer, I hoped to return to Kenya and stay the entire summer with a team, but the team never materialized. I chose to go alone. Each of these three decisions had to be made at nearly the last minute, but each was incredibly rewarding. Since college, the trend has continued. It took two years after graduating to begin to earn a salary that covered my basic monthly expenses. My job change was also unexpected, but when the opportunity came it was clear that God had it planned for me. At every step of the way, I can have no doubt that God was in control.

My experiences in my life have really served to change my worldview. I have learned to see Christ in everything. I have had to work hard to know His voice and recognize it above the others. And my experiences traveling in Central and South America and Africa have continued to stretch my worldview to see the way that believers around the world see God. I have grown to love seeing different sides of God through the lenses of other cultures. I believe that I have a calling on my life for international service, but also for leadership and management. I also believe that God has called me to a higher level of holistic ministry. Fortunately, God has and is continuing to equip me for these callings, because I could never accomplish them on my own!

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B. Reflect on how attending Fuller Theological Seminary would complement your present Christian experience and/or help you to achieve your future professional and vocational goals.

God has called me to His ministry by an unusual road. As my church believed that every member was called to serve, I grew up involved in ministry but never had a vision for it being my life calling. In college, I studied business, not out of any desire to be a businessman, but out of a desire to learn skills that would be useful in any setting. It wasn’t until during college that I began to realize that God had planned for me to be in full-time ministry. For the past two years, since graduating, I have pursed full-time ministry out of a passion to see people’s lives changed, both spiritually and in more tangible ways. Now I recognize that my business education complements skills that God had already gifted me with in a way that I can be a leader in developing new methods of ministering to people around the world holistically.

However, due to my unusual path into ministry, I am now trying to find my role in ministry without any Biblical education. I have been in public schools my entire life and so the lack of formal Christian training has become an impediment to my career progress. Not only am I looked down upon by many, but I also recognize that I am lacking some of the essential training that I need to keep myself well-grounded in a life of ministry. Just as I was thrust into a role of leading a high school ministry suddenly in 2008 without any preparation or warning, I now find that in my life I have found myself in ministry without adequate preparation. My preparation has been purely experiential, from travelling around the world to working in ministry roles. If I am going to move forward with my calling, it is essential that I receive formal Christian education to complement my already-growing body of experience.

I am eager to begin my education at Fuller as soon as possible to learn about leadership in a global world, particularly from a Christian perspective. I had initially begun learning about international development from a secular university, but I soon realized that missing theological training was not God’s will. I then began to apply to a business program from a Christian university, but then realized that God has not called me to a life of business. God has called me to ministry, and I must follow Him! Therefore, I am applying to this global leadership program at Fuller, where I know that I will receive both the character, practical, and theological training to fulfill God’s plan. I believe that He is leading me toward a career of leadership in holistic ministry on a global scale, and thus I can think of no better program than the MAGL.

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Provide a resume listing your professional experience over the last 5 years. Please provide the name of the organization, title of your position, a brief description of duties, and years of employment.

My ministry experience began during the 2005-2006 school year with co-leading a Bible study and discipling several men. I spent the summer of 2006 working at my home church as an intern for the High School ministry. I helped lead a summer camp, a mission trip to Peru, and joined a team to Kenya. During the 2006-2007 school year I left the leadership team of the Navigators to be President of my dormitory and be part of an inter-ministry effort to reach my dorm. In the summer of 2007 I returned to Kenya and remained by myself working in a slum church, teaching a business seminar, and opening an income-generating water project. I continued as President of my dorm until graduating.

In February 2008 I took a job at my church as the High School Assistant but soon found myself responsible for the program when the youth minister abruptly left. I directed the program, a summer camp, and a mission trip until August, when I returned to my role as Assistant and also became an assistant to the Young Adults and Missions Ministries. I remained in that role until November when I accepted an offer to come to LINC North Texas, where I handle the finances and human resources. I am also part of our ministry efforts all over Dallas and Fort Worth, including networking, fundraising, helping with inner-city youth, and more. I have also stayed part of the project in Kenya, traveling back two more times since graduating and recently assisting with starting a nonprofit organization to sponsor the education of youth from the slums.

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Briefly evaluate your personal ministry, and identify perceived strengths and areas needing improvement. Please indicate what has prompted your interest in the Master of Arts in Global Leadership and how you hope the program will address this need.

My personal ministry is based first and foremost on people. As a naturally relational person, I lead through relationships and minister through relationships. People say that I am dependable and reliable, a good listener, and good at speaking to people's levels. However, I add to this relational focus a strong skill for administrative work. I am naturally good at managing things, planning things, and problem solving. This combination of strengths leads me to be an adept leader, manager, and hard worker at the same time. Combined with my varied passions, which include social justice, development, and anything international, my life has taken a turn toward finding the proper relationship between spiritual ministry and practical ministry. I do have plenty of weaknesses, of course, which include being overly independent, idealistic, and sometimes self-centered. I have struggled to find my role in teams, as my natural tendency is to either sit behind the scenes and work or take charge. I have been accused before of having trouble operating under authority and of being prideful. I believe that I am a very self-aware individual and that this allows me to see my weaknesses and work on them.

I am very interested in becoming a better leader. The emphasis on personal development and leadership training with a global focus attracted me to the MAGL program. I place a high value on being a lifelong learner and on continual self-improvement so I hope that this program will be part of propelling me toward greater opportunities personally and professionally. I believe that I am called to be a leader wherever I am and so I know that I need as much training as possible.

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What are the two biggest struggles facing the churches in your context?

As I am currently in a role where I work closely with many churches and experience many different types of churches, I believe that I get a good perspective of what the church culture is like. The biggest struggle facing churches that I work with in Dallas is to be outward-focused. Nearly all of the churches that I have experience with are focused on internal issues such as ministry styles, following traditions, and internal measures of success. This causes them to struggle to effectively outreach to their communities. With metrics such as Sunday attendance instead of real life change, they struggle to place an emphasis on reaching people outside the church and ministering to their deeper needs. It also causes churches to struggle to cooperate with other nearby churches as they are competing to be the biggest, best, and most self-sufficient.

The second biggest problem facing the churches in my context is related to the first: it is the challenge of being multicultural. Nearly all churches are essentially monocultural - not only are they segregated on ethnic lines, but low-income communities rarely attend church with middle- and high-income communities and young people rarely mingle with older generations. As the book of Acts describes the reversal of Babel with the bringing together of different cultures in worshiping Christ, the book of Revelations shows an image of all nations worshiping the Lord together, and the mystery of the Gospel described in Paul's epistles is the uniting of Jew and Gentile under one head, I have heard it said that segregated churches is one of the most dangerous heresies of our time. Through these two problems, many of our churches have become places of comfort for believers where a "club" mentality is held and outsiders feel unwelcome.

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What are the two biggest opportunities that you feel you are not properly resourced for?

At my current job, I am working primarily on the administrative side of operations. I would like to be more on the leadership side of operations. We are a church planting and community development organization and so I am being held back due to my lack of experience in either of those fields. The organization is in need of leaders who are capable of running entire projects or ministries and I believe that I could be the right person, but I need more leadership training and experience. I believe that my lack of qualified education for the job is also holding me back. As I have no Bible school training and only a business degree, I feel like my education causes people not to initially trust me. I feel like the MAGL program would really help me to develop into the right kind of leader and gain the trust of others to move our organization forward.

There is also an opportunity with the project in Kenya that I've been involved in for three years. A friend and I have just started a nonprofit organization for it, but since the longest that I've lived there is 2 months, I do not yet have the ability to take more of a leadership role. I believe that I am lacking the same resources in this opportunity as well: experience and education. My experience gives me a start, but I need more. My education, however, only qualifies me to work on the administrative side of things in this organization. The MAGL program would equip me with the leadership skills and character to step forward and get more experience while also helping me to grow my capacity for taking leadership in this organization.